Monday, September 15, 2008

Had an argument with dad last week over younger sis (whom he dotes on the most among his children) and he misunderstood my intentions and made some accusations & said words that hurts.
My pride & anger stopped me from taking the first step to reconcile with him, especially when i felt that i was not in the wrong and he is totally unreasonable.

However, God has been speaking to me and my colleague happen to send me a quote which linger in my thoughts for the whole week (my colleague know nothing of my quarrel with dad)

"We must not, in trying to think about how we can make a big difference, ignore the small daily differences we can make which, over time, add up to big differences that we often cannot foresee." ~ William George Jordan

One of the thots that God put in my head is that if i dont resolve this issue now, more and more 'dirt' sticks on and soon it will be a big pile of shit to clear.

And i'm also convicted (over the next couple of days) that a step of humility on my part will be a step closer to God for my parents as they see the difference between me & my younger brothers who are not talking anymore to due several misunderstandings and they literally hated one another to the extent of not caring if the other is dead.

But i still bargain with God, to provide the opportunity & atmosphere to talk to my dad, a situation where both of us are alone, so he wont be pressured by his pride to push me off etc etc.
And indeed God is good. He provided all that i ask for, that i know there's no turning back.

I explained my intentions with Dad and though he refused to look at me throughout the conversation and also did try to brush me off initially, i can see his tensed body posture softened. And like most Asian fathers, he didn't exactly said that he accepted my explanation but from the other words that he spoke and his actions, i know the issue has been resolved. And i praise God for that! =)

I also learnt that my own pride can be so deafening that hide God's small voice to me....